Jun 13, 2025 Friends Are Friends for A Purpose – Words of Grace Blog – June 13, 2025
Jesus said the greatest love one can have is to lay down his life for his friends. Then he turned to his disciples and said, “You are my friends if you do what I command you” (John 15:13-14).
Continuing with his disciples he said, “You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should remain” (John 15:16).
These passages point to the purpose for which Jesus died for us, chose us, and calls us his friends. He wants us to bear fruit by giving evidence of his life in us, bringing glory to God.
If Jesus had a purpose for making people his friends, then his friends have a purpose for one another. We are friends to help each other become what Jesus wants us to be, and to do what he wants us to do.
Most of us, even as Christians, don’t think of our friendships this way. We think friendships are for providing company, sharing events and conversations that we enjoy, and helping us when we are in need. We often use friendships for little more than feeling affirmed in our opinions and being supported in our decisions.
As Christians, we share Christ’s life with each other. Our friendships can be richer and more profitable if we share Christ’s purpose for us.
A verse in Proverbs helps with this. “Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another” (Proverbs 27:17). What does it mean to be sharpened? We could say that friends help each other become smarter, more skilled, and more prepared to face the world. All of that is good. But do we really think the Bible aims for us to become something that we could become apart from Christ? Would Proverbs tell us to help each other become sharper humans without God?
Proverbs is the book that says that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. It tells us to trust in the Lord with all our hearts and not to lean on our own understanding. Proverbs, and the whole Bible, is interested in our lives in relation to Christ. To be sharpened is to be more like Christ, and to sharpen one another is to help each other do so.
Proverbs and Jesus call us to take our friendships more seriously. We can certainly be light-hearted with our friends. We can enjoy casual and carefree dinners and conversations. But we are in Christ together, so our friendships are in him. This calls us to reflect on the impact we are having on our friends. We must examine the attitudes we spread among our friends. We need to be willing to alter the words we use with our friends to lead them to Christ and not away from him. With our friends, we should be aiming at their obedience to Christ more than their affirmation of us. A friend wants to see Christ formed in another.
As Dietrich Bonhoeffer said in Life Together, Christ stands between us as friends, so we approach and relate to each other in him. Christ stands with us, too. He is the Friend among friends, giving our friendships the newness that comes with life in him.
Think on these things this weekend and pray for your friends. This Sunday at Grace Community Church, friendship will be our theme as we continue in Proverbs.
-Scott